A Thing About Machines

When I lived in the city (SLC) which by personal experience has undoubtedly the worst drivers in the nation I drove on the defence. Could be something to do with so many people driving without insurance meaning they probably haven't taken any kind of drivers course well why should they, the plates on the cars are usually taken from parking lots or the U of U. I can attest to this.

Maybe just to bring things up to speed on the driver issue I should tell you a story of being stopped on Main Street, maybe 3rd or 4th South for a red light. There was a car along side of me also stopped. All of a sudden I see out of the corner of my eye a white Chevy Van blast past me without slowing down and bam, smashes the car to the left of us and of course pushes it into dangers way. Nothing happens for maybe 15seconds or so but the van is bouncing up and down. Huh? Then the doors fly open and a bunch of South of the Border People jump out with bags in there hands and all run 5different directions. Yes they had robbed a bank in Portland and made it as far as SLC before destroying their wheels. Do you see where I'm going with this? Penny also was driving along minding her own business one fine day and a nearly out of control car runs a stop sign and nearly kills her. Had she not been in the hefty Jeep probably would have. Did he have a licence? Was there insurance? Of course not.
They don't need it in SLC.

Which brings me to my initial thought of which is that most accidents happen within 3miles of one's home. Daa in Ely 3 miles will take you all the way out of town in any direction.

Back to the machines. Susie is going to the doctor for a scheduled appointment and goes to the bottom of the hill below our house, approximately 4 houses down, stops, makes a left turn and is distracted yes believe it or not and slams into a parked New GMC truck which she inbeds the little SideKick in its front bumper. Susie is an old hand thou at being slapped by the air bags and just gets some bad knee bruises and another wake up call that you have to watch what is happening beyond the windshield.

My friend Gary Weever told me he would take away Susie's shoes.

Fortunately it has been seven years since she totalled out our other car while dreaming of the nice little kitty she had saw at the Animal Shelter so it doesn't do anything to the insurance which I had just changed over to not two weeks before.

Do any of you believe in certain things happen for a reason? Well, approx a month before the crash my great friend Mike in SLC had told me he wanted to get a newer car to build up credit and asked me if I wanted his meticulously maintained 89 Honda Accord. I thought at the time, no way, I'm not taking anything from anyone for free cause that is just how I am and just how my dad was. Well I changed and took Mike up on his offer. He has had this car for like 15 years and serviced it every 2500 miles religiously. He even had all the lights replaced, yes every single light so there wouldn't be much of a chance of one going out. After logistics were figured out Penny meets me in Wendover, turns down a delicious Buffet, and takes me back to Mikes where I spend the night and most of the next day reminiscing. I'm a night driver so it gets around 9 PM and off I go back to Ely just cruising along, listening to his delicious cassette tape collection (do they still make those?) in 5th gear when I see the tachometer go way up and the car speed go way down. What the? Well maybe it just slipped out of 5th somehow. I push it harder into 5th position and nothing. Whoa this is bad. I mean how am I going to get back to Ely, get the car back to SLC when I think maybe it has more gears that might work. Waa Laa I have 4th gear and not taking any chances leave it there till I hit Wendover and then find I also have all the rest cept 5th. So now I have a great 89 Honda Accord, wow these are luxury with 4 speeds. Could be much worse. Susie went with me Friday toin the Honda to Wendover to get the truck and it was almost all worth it. We had the Seafood Buffet at the Peppermill and I ate at least 35 pounds of crab legs and oysters. I didn't even get food poisoning like I did last time and almost died.

You see the carburetor on the Jeep is a two piece carburetor and it stripped all its threads and the carburetor almost literally fell in two pieces stranding me with three dogs in the middle of main street. God was with me and there were three leashes. Bear had never been on a leash and threw himself about like the had been taken over by some spirits at a religious gathering. And of course slipped out of his collar and started for the road. I dared not chase him (heavy traffic) as he would run that much further so it was "Nice Bear, come to daddy" which he did and I latched on to him and put the collar into a partial strangle hold to get him home. Bear now is no little puppy anymore. Like 45 pounds and as tall as his mom. He picked up leash walking real good by the time we got home.

The old Dodge Truck we have has a horrible vibration and will only run smooth at 68 miles per hour. It was this that I drove to Wendoever. I suspect a bad torque converter but you have to pull the trans to get to it and I am not up to that. I just did this job last year changing the transmission and torque converter in the gravel and mud. Had it not been for my nieghbor hearing me curse and coming to my aid I surely would have torched it.

The KTM motorcycle no longer runs since it stranded us on Ward Mountain and we had the long, long, walk back. When we went up to get the motorcycle it started right up and I rode it home. That was two years ago and I have not been able to get it to even pop since.

I'm a driver, I'm a winner, things are going to change I can feel it.

Oms

Mudflap McMobile

A Cold Winter Night's Dream

This is a tale of oddities, dualities and other things that happen out of the ordinary.
I was waiting for my ole friend who was up from the city. to call me until Sat around noon when I realized it probably wasn't going to happen and that I had something to do that I have put off all summer. Yes folks, it is still Summer here in Red Hill with winter like temperatures at night
So me and Burro decided to go get wood in the highlands. With a trailer that didn't have any running lights, turn signals ect. Well we cut, and we loaded and cut and ect ect. Burro once again found the elusive Elk leg bone so was quite comfortable to just lay a little out of site as that is where he in most comfortable gnawing on a bone. I was getting tired and more than hungry when the saw quite literally took command of the cutting of the large tall pine I was working on and back kicked which normally would have been no problem as saws these days are set up with a safety feature that cuts back the throttle and stops the chain were it to get loose of said woodsman. But mine had broke so I removed it. Anyway I was on a steep hill and the saw took command but me being experienced held tight the saw so it would not split my head down the middle or cut a femur artery. I flew backwards and in the process of midair flight threw the saw away from me. Burro, sensing danger once again came racing to my side which was totally prone by then in the sage and he laid down by my side and had his lips curled back and a low growl was being emitted to whatever it was that had thrust his so called master to the ground. Naturally I could not move for a short time as I got whatever wind I have knocked out of me and there we were. Burro ready for the attack and me motionless. It only a few moments before I recovered enough to let Burro know it was OK, but he refused to move still in the attack mode, so I grabbed his collar and asked him to help pull me up which he did. When he saw me on two feet and nothing in the vicinity to harm me except for a chain saw that was still running at high idle he relaxed. I realized at that point I was totally famished so I went looking for the little cooler which housed some sandwiches, and other nourishments only to find I had left them behind. It is getting near dark now and I also realized I had not brought a flashlight. Fumbling around thru the camper shell I found a can of mushroom soup that probably was leftover from Burning Man in 2004. Well what the hell, it's canned and probably good so I fixed it up with water and boiled it and mushroom soup was never so good. The stars came out along with the probable 20 temp and in the mummy bag I dove with Burro lying along side we both stayed relatively warm. Until I had to get up and relieve myself. Then it being so dark and me so zoned, I just kinda thru the mummy bag along with a tarp over me and shivered myself to sleep.
The next morning bright and early way before the sun thought about coming over the mountain I built a good campfire and thoroughly unthawed myself before any thoughts of getting more wood. That time did come thou and then I refueled the saw and filled up the cutting oil, went over by the fire when I noticed my leg seems soaked which it was with cutting oil as I had forgot to put on the oil cap on the saw and it had ran almost a quart down my pant leg and into my boot. Well, not to be deterred, I put the rest of the oil that I had which could be measured in a pint bottle with room to spare in the saw, drank a cup of hot lemon tea (not my usual lattee) and proceeded to get the saw running which it would not. After about 20 pulls on the rope, Burro and I decided to break camp and pull the wood trailer home with our pathetic load and tails between our legs.
After getting home, showering and eating a decent meal of leftover turkey from Tuesday, I then went into the relax mode when I hear Susie hollering that their is someone at the door for me. Well, having seen Linda last year I was pretty certain that the person at the door was not her no matter how hard her life had been. It was her father in law who had a large
package of LUMPIA and a Bottle of PEANUT SAUCE. Waiting till Susie went to do a little shopping I fried 2 of the vegetable Lumpias and soaked them in Peanut Sauce. I do not remember Lumpia ever being so good and the Peanut Sauce was tasty enough do almost drink alone.
So Linda and Friends, that is the story. Now I am stuck with yet another addiction. Lumpia and Peanut Sauce. What is a man to do?
Thank you Linda. And my friends in cyberland and you Lou that put up with my stories.
A great week to you all.
Mudflap McLumpia

Aren't they just darling?

First of all before I go any farther, I owe Corbie a great big thanks for posting pictures for me as I have the computer genius of an eggplant. Thank you Corbie.

This last puppy (the one on the bottom of the bed taking the menacing steps toward the cameraman) is a Mr. Ted E. Bear. I GUESS we will keep him. He is 9" tall and over 14" long not counting the tail. His fur is almost an inch thick already. None of the pups look like their mom at all.To tell the truth, it is still up in the air as to who and how many we will keep. Turned out these are special pups with thier mom's temperment and are continually happily wagging thier tails. There will be about 4 more pictures as there are two missing in action. My guess is they are somewhere under the bed. Lizzy is totally pooped out. It will be 4 weeks tomorrow that we helped her with her brood and she still won't fess up as to the messing around she had done. There are Sharpie
faced pups, cocker faced and one who is totally marbled, so many shades of brown he almost looks purple. A friend of mine said the first one that is so Sharpied looks just like me. He is supposed to be my pal.
Mudflap McBack

Story People
Here's the Story of the Day:

I like women a lot, he said, but only after I've known them awhile & they know they can laugh at me out loud.

The Anguish of a Lost Winter

The seasons are getting much shorter. We were 66 degrees Fahrenheit today. Normally Ely is one of the cold spots in the nation. To be sure. But it being Summer once again I guess this isn't an unusual temperature at all. Maybe a tad cool for summer now that I think more clearly about it. You would say shit Mudflap you are just experiencing Spring or another one of your bipolar or high glucose shifts. Not so I say, there are no buds on the trees and all of their leaves have fallen off and raked into a pile with the apples which hopefully will produce compost soon. This thou throws me and my totally unthought out theory right thru the window, which is open letting the flies in. Flies in? In middle November? An abhorrence of nature I tell you.
Most of you probably will be clueless to this, but I have watched with considerable interest the SLC Weather Station and found you are in the midst of an inversion. Unless you live in Park City where the skies are clear and you can see not only your breath but the stars. I remember inversions. They make fog freeze on everything and people irritable. They live in cities by lakes and choke anyone with any kind of breathing or respitory problems by plugging the lungs and it's fine membranes with all the contaminates spewed out by the factories, mining refineries and automobiles that should have been put out of service a couple of decades ago but with a 40.00 payoff at the Texeco on 7200 So. State were left to sputter generous amounts of smoke, carbon, lead, sulphur and hydracarbons at a rate only exceeded by our local Old Engine Number 93 that runs totally on coal and doesn't have to pass any tests in fact the more smoke that comes out of the stack the more the passengers like it but I see once again I am straying away from my letter to an uninformed world about the Summer to Winter to Summer Dance that is happening right before my eyes. Oh where are the snows of yesteryear? My snowshoes have been sent in for repairs and realignment for my Christmas present from the other half who could have more appropriately spent the money on something I could actually use here like two gross of dust masks for the upcoming winds that will surly blow from North to South once the alkaline soil turns hard and to microscopic dust sharp enough to sandblast a windshield in minutes flat.
Now there must have been a reason my fingers started walking across the keyboard. What could it have been? And even more frightening, where is the rest of that 64 ounce Dark Chocolate Hershey Bar and my Latte anyway?

MFMF

What, When, Who or How

Yes, things have gotten much stranger here in Red Hill. I mean besides a man having to give up 9/10 of his bed space once again.
Susie went up to the house where I had followed the beautiful boxer that was in the run to ask them if it was purebred. Well, yes but it is FEMALE. Now that leaves me in a total columdrum. Lizzy was always in the run except for a few times she made good an escape and went to the neighbors who would treat her with stew and bones for her effort of sliding under the fence and tearing off hide in the process. So....
it just beats the crap out of me. There is a couple of pups that look like they could have Sharpie in them, a couple that have Burros Sheep Dog markings, two beautiful tan pups half white that look in every sense boxer and two more mixes. Now I asked MY Human doctor and she said it would be almost an impossibility that Burro had a few sperms still swimming after the neuter but not impossible. Where the rest came from is a total mystery. I am quite sensitive to energy and three of the pups have emit strong energy when placed against my face. They are growing like weeds that have been treated with nitrogen. Serious. I am supposed to wait 5 more weeks till I can give them away and by that time they will have totally overun my bedroom and spilled out into the kitchen. Where Burro sleeps as he doesn't understand these new arrivals and gets as far as he can from them. Next store neighbor girl offered to take them all to our "Superstore" and betted me she could give them away within two hours on a Saturday. Yes they are that beautiful. But........................ Maybe I want to keep one. And maybe Susie wants to keep one. That would mean we would have to drive the highways and feed the dogs road kill. O what to do? I should have never started to play with them. Jeff warned me............................Bloggers hear me out, this could happen to you. Listen to your kids when it comes to your dog having pups. "DONT"
Wishing all a fantastic week.
Mudflap Mkmired

Woman Protecting Herself From Snow and Rain, Right.

They say this is a woman protecting herself from snow and sleet in Germany. I believe it is actually E.T. heading home.